“I’m bored!”

A simple phrase moaned by a child that can bring on a shiver of panic for any parent or caregiver. In an age where children’s schedules are jam-packed with activities and playdates, and parents are juggling these commitments on top of their own responsibilities, it almost feels like a failure when your little one comes to you and says those dreaded words. The truth is, overbooking your child can actually do more harm than good. Boredom is actually a good thing for your child to experience and there are multiple benefits to allowing your child to have unstructured downtime.

Is your Child too Busy?

The harmful effects of overbooking a child's schedule can apply to children as young as 3-5 years old, although the specific impact may manifest differently at this age compared to older children. Here's how it applies to young children:

1. Increased Stress and Anxiety: Even young children can experience stress and anxiety when their schedules are overly packed with activities. They may feel overwhelmed by the constant transitions and expectations.

2. Limited Free Play and Exploration: Play is essential for the healthy development of young children. Overbooking can deprive them of the opportunity to engage in unstructured play, which is crucial for creativity, problem-solving, and social skill development.

3. Reduced Family Time: Young children benefit greatly from spending quality time with their families. Overbooked schedules can reduce opportunities for family bonding, which is essential for emotional development.

4. Loss of Autonomy: Very young children may not have the capacity to make choices about their schedules. When parents overschedule them, it can lead to frustration and a sense of powerlessness.

It's important to recognize that young children have developmental needs that are distinct from older children and adults. They require plenty of free play, exploration, and nurturing relationships during their early years. Parents and caregivers should prioritize creating a balanced schedule that allows for ample unstructured playtime, rest, and age-appropriate activities that support their cognitive, emotional, and physical development. Encouraging play-based learning and providing opportunities for exploration can foster a strong foundation for a child's future development and success.

How to Help Your Child Make the Most of Boredom

Unstructured, open-ended downtime can be overwhelming for many children at first, so it’s best to think ahead about how you’ll introduce the skill of being bored to your kiddo!

1. Collaborate on activity ideas: A good first step is creating an activity chart ahead of time. Snuggle up with your child and have them help you come up with a list of activities they already enjoy doing and activities or interests they want to start learning more about. Include pictures of those activities for your kiddos who aren’t reading quite yet and display the chart somewhere accessible, like on the fridge or on their bedroom wall. When your child says, “I’m bored!”, direct them to their choice chart and have them pick an activity.

2. Have Realistic Expectations: Another important step is considering your child’s development and how long they will realistically be able to occupy themselves. A preschool circle time is only about 10 minutes long on a good day, so be sure to keep your kiddo’s individual attention span in mind. A particularly engaging activity may keep your child occupied for a half hour or more but it’s okay if they need something new every 10 to 20 minutes, especially as they are learning the new skill of “being bored”. Once you know how long your child typically occupies themselves you can check in before that period of time passes to offer praise and reinforcement so they can feel proud for accomplishing something on their own!

3. Brain Breaks: When your child is finished with their activity, engage them in a five to ten minute “brain break”! Encourage them to get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, grab a quick snack, and then move their bodies to a silly song, dance, or game of Simon Says! This break allows them to become self-aware of their physical needs such as thirst and needing the bathroom (and burn off some physical energy!) before returning to open-ended and self-directed activities.

Final Thoughts

In today’s world we are constantly on the go, and that includes our little ones. While extracurriculars such as dance, soccer, and music lessons teach valuable skills in their own rights, there is also value in slowing down and experiencing open-ended unstructured time. With time, and flexing that creative muscle, your child will become better at solving their own boredom and making the most of their unstructured play time. Maybe us adults could learn a thing or two from being bored, too!

The Benefits of Boredom

1. Development of Cognitive Skills: Experiencing boredom encourages the development of crucial executive functioning skills that children need to be successful later in life. Skills such as planning and organization are learned through creating an art project, building a fort out of blankets and pillows, or constructing a LEGO masterpiece. Creativity is fostered when you encourage your child to play with a familiar toy in a new way or to explore using natural materials like sticks, leaves, and rocks to paint. 

2. Building Perseverance: Experiencing boredom allows children to build perseverance in the face of failure. The picture you were coloring didn’t turn out right? The fort you worked so hard on fell down? That’s okay! Nurturing a capacity for patience and self-regulation when things do not go as planned helps the little ones in our lives understand that it’s okay for things to go wrong and to try again.

3. Improving Working Memory: There is evidence that shows that daydreaming can improve your child’s working memory! Working memory is the brain’s capacity for remembering and recalling information despite distractions. Providing time for your child to simply “zone out”, like during quiet time while another child naps, appears to organically invite your child to think beyond their immediate surroundings. They may be quietly looking at a book or even staring off into space and during that time their brain may be busy thinking about what they’ve done that day and what they might be doing next. Even when it looks like our kiddos are doing nothing, their brains are hard at work!

Attention-Seeking: How to Respond

Sometimes your little one will use the statement, “I’m bored!” as a way to get your attention; they may not actually be bored but instead are interested in what you’re doing, have some unmet physical need, or simply don’t know what to do with themselves. You know your child best, so it’s important to take a moment to figure out if your child is in search of connection, a physical need such as a snack, or if they need guidance on how to be bored.

If your kiddo needs a moment to check in with you and get a hug or a snack, it goes without saying to do those things first! Once you are certain that your child’s most basic needs are met, you can gently but firmly guide them to their choice chart. If they are resisting making a decision on their own, you can give them two choices and ask them to pick one. Keep your redirection short and to the point, as having a long discussion about their options can serve to reinforce the idea that asking for an endless list of ideas is in itself an option! Once a choice has been made, be sure to let your child know when you will check in on them next so they have the security of knowing they are not endlessly on their own.